I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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