walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think a kid would responsible me up
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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