HIV tests are more positive than that guy
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
