they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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