Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
