I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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