Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
