when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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