My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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