And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
