Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
