You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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