she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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