I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
