If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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