quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize