My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
