I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
