...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
