the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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