He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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