But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
