I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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