Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Randomize
