Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
