We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
