Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Dear god my vagina.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
