Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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