why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I could fuck to npr.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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