Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize