My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
