You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
