He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
