tell your sister to shave her snatch
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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