I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
