Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
