I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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