What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Acid is not a monday night drug
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
