Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
