Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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