I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
