I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize