Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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