I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
