That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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