perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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