Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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