Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
