FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
