i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
