Having a random hookup so left but love u
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
