I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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