Apparently you make a good broom.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
