I'm really into asian looking animals
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
