If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
