Screwed.edu
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
