I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
