I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
