Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Non-Jews are for practice
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
