alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
